Florida man denies that cocaine allegedly found in his buttocks belonged to him

“When sheriff’s deputies allegedly discovered a bags (sic) of marijuana and cocaine between a man’s buttocks, they said he gave a quick explanation. Manatee County deputies said Raymond Stanley Roberts told them ‘The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is,’” reports the Associated Press.

And who hasn’t found things just like that and wondered, ‘Where in the world did this come from?’ Not a day goes by that this doesn’t happen to me.

Read more: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101006/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_well_hidden_drugs

Insane stuff my kids say – Post #5

Ariana

My twin 6-year-old daughters sometimes like to introduce what they’re about to say with some sort of opening phrase. They might say something like, “Dad, this is great news … I lost a tooth today!”

My wife’s sister Janet babysits the girls sometimes. She said one day she heard Ariana tell her 2-year-old brother: “Will, I’m really glad to say this. October is when you get fake favors.”

Not exactly sure why the favors are fake, but she’s very happy about them.

Insane stuff my kids say – Post #2

Tomorrow is show-and-tell day in my twin daughters’ first-grade class. Ariana said something like, “We need to pack something for show-and-tell. We have to bring something nature-ish.”

Talia said, “I’m gonna bring a brick.”

I gotta get these kids outdoors more.

Professional clown may have to prove he can read in order to serve in Brazil’s congress (it’s okay if you need to read this headline twice)

AP Photo

There’s a headline I never planned on writing … But in Brazil, there is some question as to whether or not a clown whos stage name means “grumpy” may not be literate, and the country’s constitution requires one to be able to read in order serve in their Congress. I just wonder how well one has to read.

On the USA Today website, an AP story reports:

“Brazilians seem eager to put a clown in Congress, according to the polls. But the courts are taking a less jovial look at a new report that the comic doesn’t meet a legal requirement that lawmakers be able to read and write.

“The Brazilian Constitution mandates that members of Congress must be literate, and prosecutors said Monday they want to force Tiririca — a name that means “grumpy” in colloquial Portuguese — to disprove the allegations. Otherwise, he could be tossed from office if he wins.”

 Read the full story: http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2010-09-27-brazil-elections-clown_N.htm?loc=interstitialskip

Insane stuff my kids say – Post #1

OK … I know everyone thinks their kids are unique. But mine really are … really.

I have twin 6-year-old daughters (Ariana and Talia) and a 2-year-old son (Will). They’re all very language-oriented. The girls began showing early reading skills at age 3. Will already recognizes most or all of the letters in the alphabet.

And they just do and say insane things … especially the twins.

Here’s an example. A couple of days ago, I was buckling Ariana into her booster seat. As I was stretched out trying to blindly get the buckle snapped, Ariana says something along the lines of: “Dad, you don’t smell very good.”

I had showered.

Then she added: “You smell like hot, spicy snow.”

WHAT!?!?!?

UPDATE: eBay auction of painting ‘done by chicken’ at more than $500 – more than 6 days left to bid

The Associated Press recently reported that a “New Hampshire woman hopes a piece of art painted by a chicken will raise money to rebuild a playground.”

That auction is at $525 as of 4 p.m. today (Saturday).

“Wendy Thomas of Merrimack says she created the piece by dipping the chicken’s feet in paint then placing the hen on canvas,” according to the AP.

View the auction here.

Read the previous “Everything Else” post on the topic.

DEMISE OF HUMANKIND UPDATE: ‘Fried beer’ snags title of ‘Most Creative’ at the Big Tex Choice Awards

It’s been a while, but that doesn’t mean that humanity hasn’t been steadily spiraling into self-oblivion. It’s time for a DEMISE OF HUMANKIND UPDATE!

Apparently, cirrhosis and heart disease weren’t doing enough damage to the collective health of Americans independently. Now we’ve combined the health dangers of alcohol and deep-frying into one debilitatingly convenient food product.

Click2Houston.com reports:

“The best fried recipes were crowned Monday at the ‘Big Tex Choice Awards.’

“This winner of the ‘most creative’ fried food was ‘Fried Beer.’ It is actually a beer-filled pretzel pocket, but diners can open the delicious dough and pour a cold one. The best fried recipes were crowned Monday at the ‘Big Tex Choice Awards.’

Read more: http://www.click2houston.com/news/24900714/detail.html

A big, purple, stuffed ape was found at a bus stop … anyone know where it came from

Someone e-mailed us this pic today. They just happened upon this purple ape at a bus stop near Lewis and Clark School in Fargo … Does anyone have a clue as to where it might have come from. I’d love to do a story on it…. E-mail me with any info smercer@forumcomm.com

Dog wins pet insurance award after eating beehive (I don’t make this stuff up, people)

A Reuters report at MSNBC says, “A Labrador that ate a beehive containing pesticides and thousands of dead bees won an award on Monday that recognized the most unusual pet health insurance claim in the United States.”

Read the story: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38832844/ns/us_news-weird_news/